Katrina

As I enter the packed bar on Friday night, all signs point to “yes”, tonight will be just like every other night in this crazy beach town–he loud music, drunk people, and every man chasing the beach bunnies and bikini models after a few drinks.

Katrina Says:

They acted like blood-crazed vampires the way they go about their nightly search. The really hungry ones are easiest to point out–too much cologne, a douchy-grin, and forced uncomfortable eye-contact with every female in the room. They are playing the numbers game, the law of averages. If they hit on enough chicks tonight, one is bound to be dumb enough, desperate enough, or drunk enough to go home with him.

But you don’t want to be this guy. You don’t want to be the girl who goes home with him either. Although a no-string fling with the drink mediocre looking girl might seem like a great idea, with those chicks there is no such thing. Prepare for the onslaught of calls and texts and angry messages accusing you of being a heartless douche bag. The quality girls–the hard bodied, busty girls that could be bikini models or B-movie actresses–won’t fall for the cliché lines and tired conversation. Or, will they? Besides, a consistent, quality fuck–the kind you don’t mind having breakfast with in the morning–is way better in the long run if you value your sanity and peace.

And this is why I’m here to advise on the 5 ways to avoid this disaster and still hook up with a hot bikini model. Not scientifically proven solutions to the nightly problem, but a list of guidelines that will greatly increase your chances of success and happiness with a hot chick.

1. Easy on the Cologne: I know that everyone likes to smell nice, but go easy on the cologne. She doesn’t want to smell you from a mile away, and sometimes too much cologne when you’re drinking is enough to make a girl puke. Resist the urge to bathe in it.

2. Make eye contact for more than 3 seconds before approaching your target: You don’t want to mistake her glancing around the bar as a signal that she like what she sees. Continued and prolonged eye contact from across the room builds sexual tension and also lets her now you are not a creep. The longer she has been making eyes at you, the greater the chance is that she is attracted to you, therefore increasing your odds at getting laid.

Lola Loves it When Guys Build Sexual Tension

3. Be confident, not cocky: Okay so you made it over to her AND she’s talking to you, that’s the hardest part. It is good to talk about what you have going for you, but no one wants to hear some douche-bag ramble on for hours about how awesome he is. Be confident in what you have to offer, but reign it in boys, cockiness is an instant turn-off.

4. Don’t buy her a drink: Let’s face it guys, women go out and often carry no money because they know some schmuck won’t be able to resist even the slightest hope of female interaction. Desperate enough to buy her a drink and dumb enough not to say anything when she accepts and then bails with her drink in hand. You are to blame. So be different. Be the guy that doesn’t fall for it. I’m not saying to never buy a girl a drink, but make her work for it. Don’t use it as an opener, it immediately sets you up to be used. Men who allow themselves to be used are not sexy ad have lower chances of getting laid.

5. Don’t be desperate: Girls can smell desperation. Let me just say it doesn’t smell sexy. An air of confidence that alludes to a girl that you don’t need her for sex, raises your stock. Even if you haven’t been within feet of a hot model in years, refrain from acting starved, it makes you look desperate and decreases her confidence in your ability to be a great fuck.

I can remember one of my first nights at a bar in this town, getting ready with friends, excited to see what the scene had to offer. The onslaught of douche-bags started before we even got to the bar, the honking and whistling. Yuck. So, we finally make it into a bar and could barely enter before being attacked by a mass of men all offering to buy us drinks. We locked eyes from across the room, and he smiled but didn’t come over–that was new, and I was intrigued.

Khloe Loves Minutes Spent Banging Headboards...

Finally after a good half an hour of hot eye contact, I made the trip across the bar to the corner where he was standing with his friends “Hi, I’m Katrina,” I said, hoping his name wasn’t something ridiculous. “Ryan, and your beautiful,” he said. After our brief introductions, he had done everything right: he let me come to him, didn’t smell like a perfumery, given a simple but genuine compliment, and he had not once offered me a drink. “Wow,” I thought,” someone who plays the game right”. I have a very good sense of men, maybe because I live with three. This guy got to me, he got me to pay attention and want what he had to offer. Rarely do I take a guy home, but he was an exception that night and worth every naughty, headboard-banging minute.

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